Lady in Waiting - Reflection Questionnaire

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Chapter 1 - Becoming a Lady of Reckless Abandonment

1. From your perspective, what is the difference between “token commitment” and “reckless abandonment” to Jesus? Is your relationship with Jesus one of sacrifice or convenience? (2 Sam. 24:24)
2. Have you broken your “alabaster box” at the feet of Jesus? (See Mark 14:3-9 and Luke 7:36-39.) Are you afraid to break your box at His feet? Why?
3. Like Ruth, how has your relationship with Jesus affected your friends, your surroundings, and your faith? (Mt. 19:29)
4. Does your life have public and private evidences of your reckless abandonment to Jesus Christ? Explain.
5. Read Colossians 2:10. What does being complete in Jesus mean to you? In what ways do you feel incomplete? How can that be changed?Have you experienced the completeness that comes from the courtship available with your heavenly Fiancé? Consider this dating prerequisite: You must understand you are complete in Jesus before you ever date or marry.
6. What does the following statement mean to you: “Any woman who does not understand that she is complete in Jesus is susceptible to idolatry”? (This idolatry is dependence on a guy to make her complete—thus putting him in God’s place.) Consider this verse: “How happy are those who know their need for God…” (Mt. 5:3 Phillips).

Chapter 2 - Becoming a Lady of Diligence

1. Determine what may have kept you from being more involved in ministry by seeing which of the following four characters you identify with the most.
1. JEALOUS JENNY: Do you focus on the gifts others have been given and, therefore, never find your own niche in ministry? Have you unwisely compared yourself with other women? (1 Cor. 4:7; 12:7; Rom. 12:3)
2. PRIMA DONNA PAULA: Do you want to serve God on your terms? Do you want to write the script and have the leading role? (Jn. 4:34; 7:16,18; Mt. 23:5)
3. FEARFUL FRANCES: Do you fear what others think? Are you afraid of becoming too involved and being labeled a fanatic? Do you hesitate to be a Lady of Diligence because you feel so inadequate? (Prov. 29:25; 2 Tim. 1:7; 1 Thess. 5:24)
4. DOUBTING DORIS: Faith is believing what God says about you. Do you long to become more involved in a number of ministries, but feel your faith will fizzle before you finish? Have you struggled with serving the Lord in the past, so you doubt yourself today? (Part of ministry is learning, so don’t let yesterday’s struggles prevent future successes.) (1 Jn. 4:4; 2 Tim. 1:9; 1 Tim. 6:12)
2. To get involved in any ministry demands a sacrifice. Have you allowed your self-centeredness to dominate your daily schedule? Why not go through your checkbook tonight and see how many checks were written for things concerning others? (2 Sam. 24:24; Phil. 2:3-4; Mt. 19:29)

Chapter 3 - Becoming a Lady of Faith

1. Go through selected Psalms and circle the words trust and rely upon in red. Notice David’s trust in God. This exercise will strengthen your “eyes of faith.” What are two other ways to strengthen your faith?
2. Can you see the parallel between a strong devotional life and the Lady of Faith? Read Romans 10:17.
3. Can you see a parallel between your own journey of faith and your daily quiet time with God
4. Read through Hebrews 11 and underline all the verbs. Then go back through and confess, “By faith I can __________,” filling in the blank with the verbs from each verse. 
5. Is there anything you can think of that you can’t do by faith?
6. Can you trust God to sovereignly bring you together with a Boaz?
7. What causes you to struggle in your walk of faith?
8. Explain how you tend to manipulate your rendezvous with men and/or how you can allow God to be your heavenly dating service.
9. Can you see how an extended period of singleness serves as a great opportunity to develop into a Lady of Faith? Explain.

Chapter 4 - Becoming a Lady of Virtue

1. Study Rebekah in Genesis 24 and write out all the character qualities you find. Which of these do you need to develop? Pick one of these qualities and describe how you will specifically work on making it real in your life.
2. What books have you read dealing with the virtues/disciplines of a godly woman? In contrast, how many magazines have you read that deal with external glamour? What good books can you begin to read that will help develop your own personal godliness?
3. Pick out a picture of a woman who, according to magazines, “has everything.” What features do you see? What appeal has been used? What is dangerous about comparing yourself with pictures like that?
4. Read Proverbs 31. In prayer admit, “Father, You don’t choose to zap me into completion. So today I choose to cooperate with the Holy Spirit as You make me a Lady of Virtue. From my Scripture reading, show me one quality from Proverbs 31 that I need to develop.” (For example: discipline, thoroughness, graciousness, giving, diligence.) Pray over this quality for a month before moving to something else. 
5. Examine the “necklace” you are stringing by checking it in the light of Galatians 5:16-24. How many bad beads do you see in your necklace? Confess these sins and ask God’s Spirit to control you in these areas. Get with a godly friend who will pray for you weekly until the bad beads are replaced by quality pearls.

Chapter 5 - Becoming a Lady of Devotion

1. Read Deuteronomy 30:11-20. What are the benefits of devotion to Christ? What are the results of living a life not devoted to Christ?
2. What warnings does God give about your heart in Deuteronomy 11:16 and Deuteronomy 30:17? What gods seek to distract your heart?
3. How did David seek God in Psalm 63? What was his reward?
4. How is your heavenly courtship progressing? How can you make it better?
5. Have you come to a place where your relationship with Jesus is beyond comparison with any earthly love?
6. Does your daily devotional relationship with Jesus satisfy you from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes?
7. Are you following hard after Jesus, or every eligible guy?
8. Read Song of Solomon 6:1. Does your love relationship with Jesus cause your friends to seek after Him as the Shulammite woman’s praises did her friends? Why or why not? What can you do differently?
9. If you have never spent a consistent devotional time with God before now, begin by reading a Psalm a day. After reading the Psalm, write answers to these three questions in a notebook:
1. What does this passage say about me?
2. What does this passage say about the Lord?
3. How can it apply to me?

Chapter 6 - Becoming a Lady of Purity

1. Second Samuel 13:1-19 is a painful story of rape, but note the reaction of the man who got what he wanted. After his sexual thirst was quenched, what was his response toward the woman for whom he lusted? How did he feel toward the woman? Why?
2. How can a young woman stay pure? (Ps. 119:9,11)
3. How do friendships affect your purity? (1 Cor. 15:33)
4. Write out a specific list of ways you will guard your purity as you build relationships with the opposite sex.
5. Is striving to be pure too hard? (1 Cor. 10:13) List some of the ways of escape God has given you.
6. Write out what a kiss means to you. What are you wanting to say when you kiss a man? Is there any other way to say this? How could adding physical affection to a friendship limit communication-building?

Chapter 7 - Becoming a Lady of Security

1. Look at the things most important to you, the things on which you spend the most of your time and energy (e.g., appearance, money, career, family, friendships, dates). If these were taken away, how would you be affected? Security is basing one’s life on that which cannot be taken away. Are you building your life on what makes you secure or insecure?
2. Do you find yourself manipulating for friendships with guys? Proverbs 4:23 exhorts you to watch over your heart. Write out ways you can respond when the temptation to “scheme” for a date comes your way.
3. Meditate on Colossians 3:1-3. How could these verses help you the next time you feel insecure and want to take future matters into your own hands?
4. What can a Lady in Waiting do with her feelings while she waits? List them from Psalm 37:3-7.
5. In your journal confess any times you sought to manipulate a person or situation. Seek to put your security in your King and ask His Holy Spirit for help.
6. How would having your security in the Lord and not in whom you are dating affect you if the dating relationship ended? Could you be grateful for a friendship even without the promise of a future? Being secure in God’s forever love (see Heb. 13:5) allows a woman to build relationships for friendship, not merely romance for a future.

Chapter 8 - Becoming a Lady of Contentment

1. Do you have a spiritual monitor? Are you a spiritual monitor? (Read Proverbs 28:23 and Hebrews 3:13.) Are you intimidated by the prospect of this role in a friend’s life? Why?
2. Review the methods of defrauding by a guy and by yourself. (Read First Thessalonians 4:6.)
3. A contented woman has the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing life on her terms. Are you a contented woman? (Read Judges 21:25, Luke 1:38, and Matthew 26:39.)
4. Pride is an excessively high opinion of what one deserves. Do you struggle with pride’s control of your desires? (Read Proverbs 13:10, 16:18, 29:23; Jeremiah 5:3; and James 4:1-2.)
5. Does toe-tapping, nail-biting, “I’m a quarter past 30 years old” thinking rob you of contentment? What limits God from acting on your behalf? (Read Matthew 6:27, Isaiah 30:18, and 64:4.)

Chapter 9 - Becoming a Lady of Conviction

1. Write out your convictions for the kind of guys you will date and the Scripture where you found those qualities. Why did you select these particular convictions?
2. What is the problem with just dating guys who are good, but who are not Christians? What is the difference between a good man who goes to church and a growing Christian man? What difference would it make in marriage?
3. If the wait becomes hard and you meet someone who loves you, but has a glaring character flaw, what do you sacrifice if you marry him? Look through each of the characteristics found in the Man-Worth-Waiting-For section and determine what would be lost in your marriage if that quality was missing in your husband and the father of your children.
4. Put a check beside each of the following characteristics that you can change in your husband after marriage:

• ___ Unwillingness to communicate (Prov. 14:10)
• ___ Dominating ego (Rom. 12:3)
• ___ Bad temper (Jas. 1:19-20)
• ___Argumentative tendencies (Prov. 20:3)
• ___ Difficulty in apologizing (Eph. 4:32)
• ___ Bad language (Eph. 5:4)
• ___ Unwillingness to be involved with church (Heb. 10:24-25)
• ___ Inability to keep a job (1 Tim. 5:8)
• ___ Jealousy (1 Cor. 13:4)
• ___ Self-centeredness (2 Cor. 5:15)
• ___ Depression (2 Cor. 4:16)
• ___ Unwillingness to give (2 Cor. 9:7)
• ___Always “going with the guys” (1 Cor. 15:33)

1. What does the Bible say about these qualities in reference to godliness?

Chapter 10 - Becoming a Lady of Patience

1. Write out the things that make you lose patience. Which of these cause your Sovereign God concern? Give these concerns to Him and ask Him to help you trust while you wait. “I will trust while I wait, for my God is never late” is a good motto.
2. Read Deuteronomy 28:1-48. Write on one side of a piece of paper the blessings God wanted the nation of Israel to have as His children. Write on the other side what He asked them to do. What does He require of you?
3. Read Deuteronomy 28:1-48 again. Write the curses that came from choosing to be disobedient to God. Confess any ways that you have chosen to disobey God’s will for your life.
4. Read Deuteronomy 30 and write down all the tender ways God spoke to His children, trying to help them choose what was best. How can you commit today to remain true to your loving Father and patiently wait? Look at the way He understands how His children feel in verses 11-14.
5. Make Psalm 27 your prayer and commit it, or another passage, to memory to use on those hard days.

God bless 😇👍